Monday, October 25, 2010

A New Beginning

Well, folks, I'm back... once again. =)

A lot of things have happened in my absence... the biggest one being that I quit my job! Yes, you read that correctly: we're in a recession and I quit my job. It's kind of a terrifying thought in many ways, yet I know it was absolutely the right thing to do. 

While I don't have as much life experience as many others who have more, um, "wisdom" as we call it in our family (yes, years), or people who have kids, or those who have gone through layoffs, or other things like that, I do believe I've gone through enough life to realize that there are a few times in your life when you're faced with major decisions that will literally change the trajectory of your life and story. 

A few of my recent story-changing decisions include accepting a teaching position in inner-city Philadelphia with Teach For America in 2006, and saying yes to my ridiculously tall (and skinny) Asian man on August 10, 2008. Now, I'm adding to that mix quitting my job in 2010. 

So why is this such a big deal? I mean, it's "just" about money, isn't it? Not exactly. In a few words, it's simply that I'm saying yes to myself. I'm saying yes to following my dreams; I'm saying yes to letting myself be happy; I'm saying yes to allowing myself to nurture myself as an artist. I'm simply saying yes to things that up until now I've said no to for the sake of being responsible. 

I realize that's a pretty privileged thing to be able to say. Believe me, I absolutely recognize that it is! But after many long months of conversation with Josh, along with lots of prayer, fretting, tears, soul-searching, reflection, and advice from family and friends.... I came to the conclusion that if I wasn't in an "emergency" situation (i.e. one where using some of our savings was an acceptable thing to do), I didn't know when a situation would ever come along. It wasn't a time where Josh and I had physical needs to take care of (mortgage, bills, etc).... but it was a time of desperate emotional and spiritual need. I don't want to live my life with regrets, and trust me, having my spiritual life, my marriage, and my happiness suffer would be things I don't know if I could forgive myself for.

So... I quit. And this past month has been a time of figuring out what exactly that means... but also just a time of stepping back, stepping out, and giving myself room to breathe and recover. And slowly, I'm starting to step back in. 

I know I've been gone for a very long time, but don't be fooled -- I haven't stopped taking photos. I'm still committed to a photo a day; I've just been horrible at posting them. =) However, it's time to step back into this place, and I'm excited to do so.

I'll also have some exciting news to update you on over the next few weeks/months... such as a very important piece of mail I should be receiving this week or next from the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue. =)

One last thing: I'm really glad you're all along with me on the journey.


Barb said...

You had the courage to trust & let God have His way with your life!

kristenita said...

good for you for following the Lord & doing what you knew was right for you to do!! I can't wait to see what you're up to next & to see your art unfold (hopefully on this here blog)!